How to Make Peace with Your Mother
Have you ever considered to actually learn how to make peace with your mother? Because for many of us, no matter how great our relationship with our mother looks, there are still a lot of hidden tensions in there waiting for a solution. Sometimes we may not even be aware of them.
Why is it important to smooth them out? Because the relationship we have with our parents can affect our interactions with others. It contributes to who we are and shapes our future relationships.
Think about it. Our parents are the first people we come into contact with, who we learn from and who become our first role models. Parent-child relationships can be toxic. We often blame bad situations in our life on experiences that we had with our parents.
If you and your mother have always had a tricky relationship, it is possible to find a way to overcome it.
Seek to understand. Try to understand why your mother was the way she was with you.
For example, an over protective mother loves her children so much, that they are afraid to let them go, for fear of something terrible happening to them. In trying to remove any form of danger from every aspect of their life, they actually cause their child to go into life unprepared.
Overly strict mothers may have had strict parents themselves. As their sole experience of parenting, they may think that it is the best way to educate children because it is all they know. Others will force their unfulfilled dreams on their children, by forcing them into piano lessons or banning children from things that the children feel called to do. Simply because they are choices that fit with the parents’ dream from when they were kids.
How To Make Peace With Your Mother
Sit your mum down and tell her how her behaviour has affected you and your life.
Sometimes, it is best to take the bull by the horns. You’ll be surprised to find that she is not even aware of the issues that she might have caused you. Or maybe she’ll provide an explanation for her behaviour that shows you that the issue a deeper problem that had nothing to do with you
Tips: Do it in a calm and gentle way. Make sure that she knows that the reason for this conversation is not because you want to blame someone, but to work on having a better relationship and possibly heal your wounds.
Try to forgive
Whatever the reasons your mother had for not being the mother that you wanted her to be, it’s not something that shouldn’t be forgiven. She’s your mother and she loves you. Love her back by showing her you don’t have any bad feelings. You’ll see how liberating it can be and how your relationship with her will improve.
What to hang on to: Always remember that there’s no greater love than the one a mother has for her child. This should help you to make peace with your mother.
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