We are used to talking about naughty children, but behind each child’s behaviour, is a parent with a permissive attitude, at risk of being judged harshly by others. It could be said that there are more parents failing to educate their kids, than there are completely delinquent children.

I was on the tube the other morning. It was busier than usual due to a strike on another line, so people were somewhat on edge. The surroundings didn’t help, as well as the lack of personal space. It was hot, noisy and cramped. Needless to say, people were a tad on the irritated side, to put it mildly.

Mind(ful) Your Own Children

Next to me when I boarded, was a mother with two children, of about 9 and 14 years old, I would guess. They were both wearing backpacks and by their sulky posture, looked to have been on the train for a while. As the train left the station, they became increasingly bored and agitated, fighting over air pods, at first verbally, but shortly after physically – jokingly, but nevertheless.

Pushing and punching each other, they grew increasingly agitated. At one point the mother tried to separate them by standing in the middle of their fighting – they simply continued around her. The mother seemed to find the whole thing amusing so her requests for the children to stop were not taken seriously – they simply ignored her and carried on.

A Permissive Attitude That Actually Hurts The Kids

I have children, so I can understand that they get bored easily and are a bundle of energy that they don’t yet know how to control. I felt no negative emotions towards them, in fact my feelings were to the contrary. Why?

Because as they noisily kicked, pushed and argued with each other and anyone close to them, they received disapproving looks from the other passengers in the carriage. As a result, they began to act out even more, laughing and joking loudly, as most children would under such pressure.

• Did they deserve those judgemental stares? I don’t think so.
• Were they affected by them? Absolutely.
• Have they learnt anything? Certainly, they have learnt that people will judge them.
• Will they behave differently in the future? Sadly, no, because they are not aware of any alternative behaviour that would better serve their interest.

As a mother, I believe that using the phrase “they are children” as an excuse, is a barrier to the education of children. Thinking like that is embracing a limiting attitude that because they are young, they cannot understand the world around them.

A Mindfully Permissive Attitude

• Being mindful helps to protect children from the burden of being judged.
• Teaching children to evaluate their environment and respect it, increases their awareness and enables them to feel comfortable in new environments.
• Teaching children to respect others, means that they can recognise when they are not. As their learn to be mindful of themselves, they will grow in their ability to live through a mindful approach.

Mind(ful) your children for their sake, don’t underestimate their capacity to learn and embrace new ideas. Help them to understand how to live in unison with themselves and the world around them. A completely permissive attitude won’t help children to grow into responsible adults. However, treating the children as equals from an early age, with a capacity for unlimited growth, will. They’ll thank you for it later.

SparkYourBloom Today and Everyday!