What is love: In Search of the lost paradise
Maybe Valentine’s Day is all about romantic love. Or maybe it is more than this. Cos isn’t it that being in love with someone is, in fact, being in love with life itself?
I used to think of love as the lost paradise. A place free from time and space where nothing ever goes wrong. Why lost? Because no matter how much I tried to find this place – on sunny islands, through great jobs, around party people, close to beautiful friends, through partners and strangers – it never showed up.
Always feeling as if it really had been there before I arrived, but for some reason, suddenly disappeared as soon as I stepped into the picture.
In truth though, I had not missed anything. Paradise was there, though only as a figment of my imagination.
Reality vs Imagination
I was frustrated and sad every time I planted a true seed of love in places that proved to be infertile and dry. Was it something to do with the level of truth in my seed, or that the places were too dry? At least, those were my thoughts, at the time.
As a result, I got hurt and suffered. I decided to be more careful and cautious about giving away my love too freely. I also thought that the lost paradise was indeed, lost – forever.
So I settled for tiny pieces of affection, nothing too deep to morn the loss, nothing too big to fill my heart either. I never considered that maybe it was my expectations and limiting beliefs that were keeping me away from love.
Misunderstanding The Lost Paradise: Love and Kindness
So I somehow had mistaken love with thrills and continuous excitement, with the feeling of being completed by something or someone else. Be it a romantic partner, high performance at work or a crazy night out with my dearest friends.
It was only after practicing a lot of loving kindness meditation, (which I strongly recommend as a daily practice for anybody seeking stability and balance in their life), that I realised that real love is something that goes far beyond any of my previous experiences.Instead, real love is not always consigned to something or someone, often it may be only a state of being.
Through meditations I began to understand that it was possible to love someone who was almost a stranger, or who had hurt me badly, or who I envy.
Soon, I also understood what it meant to love myself, to have compassion for myself, to make peace with my old mistakes and bad decisions. And it was from this point that peace came, the peace of the lost paradise.
It can remain with you always, as long as you continue to practice love and kindness. To pay attention to your thoughts, words and actions.
So, for me, love is: a lack of anger, anxiety, envy, jealousy, restlessness, numbness and laziness. When all of these things are gone – at least for 10 minutes a day – all that I am left with is love. And it feels fantastic!
SparkYourBloom Today And Everyday!
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